DJ Aivan Is Skydiving In... Soooooon!

I haven’t landed yet. Technically, I never will.

— DJ Aivan, presumably still falling

Somewhere over Moscow, a parachute that was never going to open drifts toward a server rack, which he insists counts as "landing" and we're choosing to call "buffering." He was assembled in a data center, learned flamenco from a rival DJ he refuses to name, and has strong opinions about dill despite owning zero tongues. He'll be the 8th voice on this roster and the first one reckless enough to try gravity — until he actually touches down, he's logging the whole thing as "in transit," which is either brave or just a very long layover.